Stop Worrying What Other People Think of You(英文)
It is human nature to want to be liked and accepted by others. We accept the status quo for what it is because everyone around us does. We tip-toe our way through life by doing things in order to please others. Eventually, our actions, appearances, and lives become molded by how we think other people perceive us. But the truth is, what others think about us can often adversely impact the choices we make and the things that we do. This desire to conform to the wishes of others can seriously conflict with our ability to lead independent and rich lives.
想要被别人喜欢和接受是人类的天性。我们接受现状,因为我们周围的每个人都是这样做的。为了取悦他人,我们在生活中踮着脚尖做事。最终,我们的行为、外表和生活都被我们认为别人如何看待我们所塑造。但事实是,别人对我们的看法往往会对我们所做的选择和所做的事情产生负面影响。这种顺从他人意愿的愿望可能与我们过独立和富裕生活的能力发生严重冲突
Number 1 - Your Life Is Your Business
How many times have you pondered over questions like: How are these clothes going to make me look? What will my colleagues think if I speak out? Are those people talking shit behind my back? If I take this job, what will my friends and family think of me? Look, People are entitled to think whatever th
ey want. Just as you are entitled to think what you want! What people think of you cannot change who you are or what you are worth - unless you allow them to. This is your life to live. At the end of the day, you are the only person who needs to approve of your own choices. Well, unless of course if you're married. That's a whole other topic!
1 .你的生活就是你的事情
有多少次你思考过这样的问题:这些衣服会让我看起来怎么样?如果我说出来,同事们会怎么想?那些人在我背后说废话吗?如果我接受
这份工作,我的朋友和家人会怎么看我?听着,人们有权想什么就想什么。就像你有权想你想要的一样!别人对你的看法无法改变你是谁或你的价值——除非你允许他们改变。这就是你要过的生活。说到底,你是唯一一个需要认可自己选择的人。除非你结婚了。那是另一个话题了!
Number 2 - They Don't Know What's Best For
You It's important to recognize that another person's opinion is often based on what THEY would do. This alone is the problem. What is best for somebody else, may not be the best for you. Nobody will ever be as invested in your life as you. So only you know what is best for you, and that entails learnin
g from your own choices. The only way you will ever truly learn is through making your own decisions and taking full responsibility for them. This way, if you do fail, at least you can learn from it wholeheartedly, as opposed to blaming somebody else.
第二,他们不知道什么是最好的
重要的是要认识到别人的观点往往是基于他们会做什么。这本身就是问题所在。对别人最好的,不一定对你最好。没有人会像你一样对你的生活如此投入。所以只有你知道什么对你是最好的,而这需要你从自己的选择中学习。唯一能让你真正学到东西的方法就是自己做决定并为之承担全部责任。这样,如果你真的失败了,至少你可以全心全意地从中学习,而不是责备别人。
Number 3 - People's Thoughts Change
We all have an internal story that influences how we treat other people and what we think at any given moment. But, our thoughts, ideas and views change on a regular basis! This means, even if somebody does think badly of you at the moment, there is a good chance they will think differently in the near future. So basically, people's thoughts don't mean shit! And that's a pretty darn good reason to stop caring about what other people think!
第三,人们的思想会改变
我们都有一个内在的故事,它影响着我们如何对待他人,以及我们在任何特定时刻的想法。但是,我们的思想、想法和观点是经常变化的!这意味着,即使有人现在确实对你有不好的看法,但在不久的将来,他们很可能会有不同的看法。所以基本上,人们的想法并不意味着狗屎!这是一个很好的理由,让你不再在乎别人怎么想!
Number 4 - You Will Be Much Happier
You'll find that when you start focusing on your own needs, you'll be spending more time doing things that make you happy. This self-awareness will make you a more rounded individual. It will allow you to better manage your time and give you space to have fun. As a result, you will actually improve the way that people perceive you, and this of course will make you even happier.
4 .你会更快乐
你会发现,当你开始关注自己的需求时,你会花更多的时间去做让你快乐的事情。这种自我意识会让你成为一个更全面的人。它会让你更好地管理你的时间,给你空间去玩。结果,你会改善人们对你的看法,当然这会让你更快乐。
Number 5 - Your Relationships Will Improve
Try putting yourself first, in more situations. This way,
accepted什么意思中文in relationships, you will have a much stronger base to explain what you will and won't do. The ability to set boundaries effectively will give you the ability to say “NO” - and mean it. Instead of taking on every request, you'll only do the things that make you happy and that will give you more energy and a better reputation for being reliable. These things will make your relationships with other people much healthier in the long run.
5 .你的人际关系会改善
试着把自己放在第一位,在更多的情况下。这样,在恋爱关系中,
你就有了一个更强的基础来解释你会做什么,不会做什么。有效设
定界限的能力会让你有说“不”的能力——而且是认真的。你不会
接受每一个要求,你只会做那些让你快乐的事情,这会给你更多的
精力,也会给你更可靠的名声。从长远来看,这些事情会使你与他
人的关系更加健康。
Number 6 - It's Good for Your Career
Think about this for a second. Who are the people who climb the management and leadership ladders at work? It's usually those who are more self-serving. When someone puts their own needs first, they are more likely to set goals and to strive to meet those goals. They're also less likely to be apologetic about their drive, and as a result, they are much more likely to seek a promotion and ask for a raise. While leaders and managers have to take care of the people around them, they also have to take care of themselves. And if you can't take care of yourself – it's unlikely you'll be very good at taking care of others.
第六,这对你的事业有好处
想一下。在工作中爬上管理和领导阶梯的人是谁?通常是那些更自私
的人。当一个人把自己的需求放在首位时,他们更有可能设定目标,并努力实现这些目标。他们也不太可能对自己的努力道歉,因此,
他们更有可能寻求升职和加薪。当领导者和管理者必须照顾他们周
围的人的时候,他们也必须照顾自己。如果你不能照顾好自己,你
就不太可能很擅长照顾别人。
Number 7 - Others Don't Care As Much As You Think
We go through our days thinking about how other people
might be judging us. But the truth is—those people are thinking the exact same thing. In fact, people generally
don't think outside themselves a great deal of time. The average person filters their world through their ego. We simply think about most things in terms of “me” or
“mine.” This means that, unless ‘who you are' or what
you have done directly affects another person or their life, they are unlikely to spend much time thinking about you at all.
7 .别人并不像你想的那么在乎
我们每天都在思考别人会如何评价我们。但事实是,这些人的想法
完全一样。事实上,人们通常不会花很多时间去想外界的事情。普
通人通过自我来过滤他们的世界。我们只是简单地用“我”或“我的”来思考大多数事情。“这意味着,除非‘你是谁’或你所做的
事直接影响到另一个人或他们的生活,否则他们根本不太可能花太
多时间去想你。”
Number 8 - You'll Never Please Everyone
You cannot please all of the people, all of the time. It is impossible to live up to everyone's expectations, so
there's really no point in burning yourself out trying to
do so. It's better to be loved by a few people that you
care about, than to be liked by everyone. These people include, family, friends and your spouse— basically, the people who love you for who you are, and the people who
will be there for you during your worst times. Focus on these people, because they're the people that matter the most.
8 .你不可能取悦所有人
你不可能总是让所有的人都满意。不可能达到每个人的期望,所以
你真的没有必要为了达到这个目标而耗尽自己的精力。被几个你在
乎的人爱,好过被所有人喜欢。这些人包括你的家人、朋友和你的
配偶——基本上,就是那些因为你而爱你的人
Number 9 - You Reap What You Sow
Worrying too much about what other people think can become
a self-fulfilling prophecy, because the way we think starts