Joe,that's why your parents told you not to jump on the bed!  乔伊,这就是你爸妈叫你 不要跳上床的原因
The One With the Jam  本集播出:“果酱与男人”
Hey,look at me! I'm making jam!  看看我,我在做果酱
-I've been at it since -Where'd you get fruit at ?  我早上四点就起来了 那么早你怎么买得到水果?
Down at the docks. You know,you can get it wholesale.  在码头那儿买的 你一定不知道可以买到批发价
I didn't know there were docks.  我根本不知道有码头
Is it broken?  手臂断了吗?
No,but I gotta wear this for a couple weeks.  不,但我得戴着这玩意儿 好几个礼拜
You tell the doctor you did it jumping on your bed?  你有没有告诉医生 你是因为跳上床才受伤?
No. I had a whole story worked out,  不,我编的故事本来有用的 但是…
...Chandler sold me out.  钱德出卖了我
I didn't think the doctor would buy that it "fell out of the socket."  抱歉,我想医生不会相信 你说的“手臂就自己脱落了”
What is this? Fruit?  这是什么?水果吗?
Monica's making jam.  摩妮卡在做果酱
Jam? I love jam! How come we never have jam at our place?  我最爱果酱了! 我们家怎么从来没有果酱?
Because the kids need new shoes.  因为孩子们需要买新鞋
I'm going into business. I'm sick of being depressed about Richard.  我得做正事了 我不想再为理查的事伤神
I needed a plan. A plan to get over my man.  我需要一个计划 来忘记我的男人
What's the opposite of man? Jam!  什么事跟男人相反? 就是果酱!
Joey,don't! It's way too hot!  乔伊,不要! 那个太烫了!
This'll just be my batch.  那么这一份就算我的
That's it.  到此为止
Hey,you,J.   喂,那个穿杰克鲁牌的傢伙
Why are you following me?  你为何跟踪我?
All week,everywhere I look, there's you.  这一周来,我往哪儿看 就会看到你
You wouldn't return my calls. You sent back my letters.  你也不回我电话 又把我的信退回来
One more chance,Ursula. Please.  再给我一次机会 拜托,乌苏拉
This is awkward.  真是太尴尬了
Yeah,because you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters.  因为你要的是乌苏拉 我是菲比,我们是双胞胎
Seriously.  这是真的
That's great. I'm stalking the wrong woman.  太好了,我跟错人了
I am such a dingus!  我真是个糊涂蛋!
Oh,you're not a dingus.  你不是糊涂蛋
I just want you to know I wasn't always like this.  我只想让你知道 我不是总是这样的
Before I met your sister,I was a normal guy who sold cellular phones.  在认识你妹妹之前 我只是卖行动电话的普通人
Look,it's not your fault.  听着,这不是你的错
I mean,this is just what she does to guys,okay?  这就是她对待男人的方式
Well,thanks.  谢谢你
Wait. I got a little story.  等等,我有个小故事告诉你
Once,in junior high school, I thought I was a witch.  我在念国中时 我以为自己是女巫
And a guidance counselor told me something that might help you.  有个辅导老师跟我说的话 我想可以帮助你
He said,"Okay,you're not a witch. You're just an average student."  他说“你根本不是女巫 你只是个普通学生”
-See what I'm saying? -Not really.  你懂我的意思吗? 不太懂
Well,get over it.  忘了她吧
You seem like a really nice guy.  你看起来是个好人
Don't be so hard on yourself,okay?  别对自己太苛刻,好吗?
You're right. I know you're right. And thanks for being so nice.  没错,我想你是对的 谢谢你对我这么友善
Thanks a lot.  谢谢你
Want to get some coffee?  你要不要去喝咖啡?
You don't have to walk behind me anymore.  你不用走在我后面了
"Gone for more jars. Be back later. Monica Geller."  “去买罐子,等会儿回来 摩妮卡盖勒”
Wait a minute. Look!  等等,你看!
It's an empty apartment.  整个房子里都没人
We're all alone in an empty apartment.  这间空房子里,只有我们两个
I have to be at work in 10 minutes.  我在十分钟内得去上班
All right. It's not like I'm employee of the year or anything.  好吧,我又不是模范员工
There it is!  在这里啊!
Oh,that's what you mean.  这就是你要的啊
Do I look fat?  我看起来很胖吗?
No.  不会啊
I accept that.  这点我可以接受
When Janice asked me and I said no, she thought I was calling her a cow.  当珍妮丝问我时,我回答不 她却认为我说她像母牛
Walk us through it,honey. Walk us through it.  重头再说一次给我们听…
Janice said,"Hi. Do I look fat today?" And I looked at her  珍妮丝说,她今天看起来胖吗 我
看看她…
You looked at her?  你看看她?
option是什么意思啊You never look.  你绝不能看
You just answer. It's like a reflex. "Do I look fat?" "No."  你只能回答,就像反射动作 “我看起来胖吗?”,“不”
"Is she prettier than I am?" "No."  “她比我漂亮吗?”,“不”
"Does size matter?"  “尺寸重要吗?”,“不”
And it works both ways.  这点男女都适用
So you both just know this stuff?  所以你们本来就知道这些?
After 30 or 40 fights, you kind of catch on.  吵了大概三四十次后 你大概就记住了
Okay. For instance:  好,比如说…
Janice is coming back from a trip. She gives you two options.  珍妮丝旅行回来 她给你两种选择
Option one: She'll take a cab home from the airport.  选择一,她从机场 自己搭计程车回来
Option two: You can meet her at baggage claim. What do you do?  选择二,你在领行李的地方 与她碰面,你会怎么做?
Easy. Baggage claim.  简单,领行李的地方
Wrong! Now you're single.  错了,所以你没女朋友啦
It's actually secret option number three.  其实是第三个秘密绝招
You meet her at the gate. That way she knows you love her.  你在登机门与她碰面 这就表现出你对她的爱
Okay,this is good.  好,这样真不错

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