HIMYM S04E16
2009年你们的Robin阿姨得到一份主持早间节目的工作
Back2009,your aunt Robin got a job hosting a morning show.
这意味着她要早起
Which meant she had to get up kind of early.
有多早呢?
How early?
大家早
Morning,everybody.
嘿Robin
Hey,Robin.
你真的这么干了啊?
So you're actually doing it,huh?
你真是凌晨2点就去上班啊
You're actually going to work
我做这些可不是为了自己是为了我的粉丝
I'm not doing it for me.I'm doing it for the fans.
谁会是凌晨4点播出的节目的粉丝啊?
Who exactly are the fans of a show that airs at4:00in the morning?
凌晨5点的节目主持人吧?
People getting up to host a show at5:00in the morning?
还没电视卖了的瘾君子?
Meth addicts who haven't sold their TVs yet?
刚刚下班还没叫醒孩子上学的脱衣舞女?
Strippers in that messy gray area between getting off work and getting their kids up for school?
反正他们支持我
Them's my peeps.
好啦告诉我最近有啥好玩的吗?
All right,catch me up.What's been going on?
你知道的平平淡淡而已
You know,the yoozh.
-真的吗平平淡淡?-没错
Really,the yoozh?Yes.
Robin想着你见过的最滑稽的事
Robin,think of the funniest thing that has ever happened.
明白了
Got it.
想象比这双倍的滑稽
Now double that.
一头黑猩猩穿了两件晚礼服?
So a chimpanzee wearing two tuxedos?
Marshall今天发生了比这还搞笑的事
Something even funnier than that happens to Marshall today.
好的首先没有比这更搞笑的了
Okay,first of all,there's nothing funnier than that.
然后瞧这并不是什么好故事
Second of all,look,it's not that good a story.
哦好啦大伙
Oh,come on,you guys.
你们这四个住在地球上最棒的城市里年轻活泼的家伙们
You're four young active people living in the most exciting city on earth.
你们竟没啥好玩的事要跟我说?
You telling me you have no stories for me?
我能说啥呢?这几周就是这么过的
What can I say?Some weeks are just like that.
每天重复一样的事
It's the same thing over and over.
我班里的一个小孩喝了一些胶水
A kid in my class ate some paste.
我耍伎俩骗一个傻妞跟我约会
I used deceitful means to hook up with a less-than-intelligent girl.
我的前女友Karen搬到城里来了
My ex-girlfriend Karen moved to town.
就是就是没啥新鲜的Robin
clothes中文It's just,it's all the same,Robin.
Karen搬来城里了?
Karen's in town?
-你不是开玩笑的吧!-不!
-You have got to be kidding me!-No!
孩子们我想我跟你们提过Karen了
Kids,I think I've told you about Karen.
她是我高中的女友我们分分合合
She was my girlfriend in high school,and intermittently through college.
她很漂亮人又聪明
She was beautiful,smart.
我非常爱她
I was madly in love with her.
但问题是Marshall和Lily不喜欢她
The only problem was,Marshall and Lily were not.
我想这跟Karen的这张嘴有关系
I think it had something to do with every time Karen opened her mouth.
我喜欢你们住在这种集体宿舍里这真是美国特的啊
I love that you guys live in a dorm.It's so American.
感觉就像我们都吃着三明治搞起种族歧视来（美国特）
It's like,let's all eat baloney sandwiches and be racist.
哦天啊她简直就是个垃圾
Oh,my God,she was such a douche.
伙计她简直是Massengill的继承人（暗喻Karen嘴贱）
Dude,she was the heiress to the Massengill fortune.
她没那么坏
She really wasn't that bad.
你当然这么想啦
Of courseyouthink that.
她把你也给带坏了
She turned you into one of her douche zombies.
我要吃掉你的脑袋只吃有机和喂草长成的
I want to eat your brain,but only if it's organic and grass-fed.
什么啊?
What?
给我递一下盐好吗?
Will you pass the salt?
盐?
Salt?
真小资
So bourgeois.
没错
Totally.
那是什么?
What's that thing?
那是电视机Karen
That's a TV,Karen.
我不看电视的
I don't watch TV.
没错
Totally.
你真以为我买了票去看摔角狂热赛?
You thought I actually bought tickets to WrestleMania?
我说的反话而已
I was being ironic.
没错
Totally.
我知道你说的是反话
I know that you were being ironic.
我这样也不过是为了嘲讽一下而已
I too am being ironic.
咱们冲吧!
Let's do this!
什么?
What?
那身装扮我花了一个月才洗下来
That makeup didn't come off for a month.
我那时还要去见Lily的父母
I had to meet Lily's parents that way.
我从没那么白痴过
I've never looked like a bigger jackass.
直到今天为止
Until today.
讲你的故事讲你的故事讲你的故事...
Tell the story.Tell the story.Tell
就放过我吧!
Just let it go!
哦够了这很好玩吗?
Well,hold on.Is it really funny?
Robin我可不是唬你啊
Robin,I am not kidding you.
我都不想让你听它因为真的你这一生中
I almost don't want you to hear it,because seriously,for the rest of your life,