疯狂学校1-1MissDaisyiscrazy
Miss Daisy is crazy
1《I hate school》我讨厌学校
“My name is A.J. I like football and video games, and I hate school.” Our teacher, Miss Daisy, was taking attendance. It was the first day of second grade. Miss Daisy told everyone in the class to stand up, say our name, and say something about ourself.
“我的名字叫A.J。我喜爱踢橄榄球、玩电⼦游戏，就是厌恶学校。”咱
们的教师黛西⼩在听着。明天是⼆年级开学第⼀天。黛西⼩叫班⾥
每个⼈站起来，说出⾃⼰的名字，讲点关于⾃⼰的事情。
All the kids laughed when I said I hated school. But there was
nothing funny about it. I have learned a lot in my eight years.
One thing I learned is that there is no reason why kids should have
to go to school.
我⼀说我厌恶学校，同学们都笑了。其实我说的话没什么好笑的。我今
年⼋岁，已经懂得很多事情。我懂得的事情当中，有⼀件就是孩⼦上学
⼀点理由也没有。
If you ask me, kids can learn all we need to learn by watching TV.
You can learn important information like which breakfast cereal
tastes best and what toys you should buy and which shampoo leaves
your hair the shiniest. This is stuff that we’ll need to know when
we grow up.
假如你问我，我会说，咱们孩⼦要懂得通过电视就能够全部学到。你能
够学习种种重要的信息，例如早餐麦⽚哪⼀个牌⼦的味道最好，买玩具
该买什么，哪⼀种洗发⽔让你洗完头头发最顺滑光亮，等等。这些才是
咱们成长中必须懂得的。
School is just this dumb thing that grown-ups thought up so they
wouldn’t have to pay for baby-sitters. When I grow up and have
children of my own, I won’t make them go to school. They can just
ride their bikes and play football and video games all day. They’ll
be happy, and they’ll think I’m the greatest father in the world.
什么学校！学校是⼩孩⼉想进去的傻玩意⼉。这样，他们就能够免得花
钱请保姆。等我长⼤有了⾃⼰的孩⼦后，我肯定不让他们去上学。他们
能够终⽇纵情骑⾃⾏车、踢橄榄球、玩电⼦游戏。他们将会快快乐乐，
并且觉得我是天下最好的⽼爸。
But for now, I wanted to let my new teacher, Miss Daisy, know from the very start how I felt about school.
可现在，我要让我的新教师黛西⼩从⼀开始就知道，我对学校到底是什么看法。
“You know what, A.J.?” Miss Daisy said, “I hate school too.”“你晓得吗，阿仔？”戴西⼩说，“我也厌恶学校。”
“You do?”
“你也厌恶？”
We all stared at Miss Daisy. I thought teachers loved school. If they didn’t love school, why did t hey become teachers?
咱们全都盯住戴西⼩看。我本认为教师都是爱学校的。如果他们不爱学校，⼲吗要当教师呢？
Why would they ever want to go to a school as a grown-up? I know that when I’m a grown-up, I’m not going to go any-where near a school.
他们为什么长⼤了还要进学校啊？我只晓得，等我⼀长⼤，我要分开学校远远的，越远越好。
“Sure I hate school,” Miss Daisy continued. “If I didn’t have to be here teaching you, I could be home sitting on my com-fortable couch, watching TV and eating bonbons.”
“我当真厌恶学校，”戴西⼩说上来，“要不是不得不来这⾥教你们，我就能够待在家⾥，坐在我舒服的沙发上，看电视，吃巧巧果。”“Wow!” we all said.
“哇！”咱们全都叫起来。
“What’s a bonbon?” asked Ryan, a kid with black sneakers who was sitting next to me.
“巧巧果是什么啊？”坐在我旁边，穿⿊⾊静⽌鞋的男⽣瑞安问道。“Bonbons are these wonderful chocolate treats,” Miss Daisy told us. “They’re about the size of a large acorn, and you can pop the whole thin g right in your mouth so you don’t need a napkin.
I could eat a whole box of bonbons in one sitting.”
“巧巧果是了不起的巧克⼒糖。”戴西⼩通知他，“⼀颗巧巧果跟⼀颗⼤橡果⼤⼩差不多，能够整颗扔到嘴⾥去，就⽤不着⼿纸了。坐上去我⼀⼝吻能够吃完⼀盒巧巧果。”
“They sound delicious!” said Andrea Young, a girl with curly brown hair. She was sitting up real straight in the front of the class with her hands folded like they were attached to each other.
“听起来挺好吃的。”棕⾊卷发的⼥⽣安德烈亚说。她挺直⾝⼦坐在头排，两只⼿穿插着，像绑着似的。
Miss Daisy seemed like a pretty cool lady, for a teacher. Anybody who hated school and liked to sit around watching TV and eating chocolate treats was okay by me.
戴西⼩尽管是⼀位教师，却更像⼀位⾼贵⼩。关于我来说，只需厌恶学校，喜爱坐在那⾥看电视，吃巧克⼒糖，不论是谁都是好的。
Me and Miss Daisy had a lot in common. Maybe going to school would-n’t be so terrible after all.
我和戴西⼩有许多共同点。上学兴许不那么可怕。
2《Dumb Miss Daisy and Principal Klutz》
Miss Daisy said it was time for us to clear off our desks and see how much we knew about arithmetic.
戴西教师说咱们该把课桌上的东西收拾好，看看咱们对算术晓得些什么。
Ugh!
唉！
“If I gave you fifty-eight apples and Principal Klutz took twenty-eight of them away,” Miss Daisy asked, “how many apples would you have left? A.J.?”
“假如我给你五⼗⼋个苹果，克卢茨校长拿⾛了⼆⼗⼋个，你还有⼏个苹果呢，阿仔？”戴西⼩问我.
（Note：数学算术题的表达⽅式，孩⼦们记牢这个句型哦）?“Who cares how many apples you would have left?” I said.
“I hate apples. If you ask me,you and Principal Klutz can take all the apples away and it wouldn’t bother me one bit.”“谁在
乎还剩下⼏个啊？”我说，“我讨厌苹果。要是你问我，你和克卢茨校长能够把苹果全给拿⾛，我⼀点也不在乎。”
“You would have thirty apples,” said that girl Andrea Young in the front of the class. She had a big smile on her face, like she had just opened all her birthday presents. Andrea Young thinks she’s so smart.
“你还有三⼗个苹果。”坐第⼀排的⼥⽣安德烈亚说。她满脸堆笑，就像她刚打开她的⽣⽇礼物似的。安德烈亚⾃认为她很聪明。?“I hate arithmetic,” I announced.
“我讨厌算术。”我申明说。
“You know what” Miss Daisy said. “I hate arithmet ic too!”
“你晓得吗？”戴西⼩说，“我也讨厌算术！”
“You do” we all said.
“你也讨厌？”我们说。
I don’t even know what you get if you multiply four times four.”
“没错。我甚⾄连四乘以四是多少也不晓得。”
"4 times 4
“You don’t”
“你不晓得？”
“I have no idea,”Miss Daisy said, scratching her head and wrinkling up her forehead like she was trying to figure it out.“Maybe one of you kids can explain it to me?”
“我不晓得。”戴西⼩说，她抓抓头，皱起眉头，如同要把它苦苦算出来的样⼦，“兴许你们谁能跟我解释解释？”
Boy, Miss Daisy was really dumb! Even I know what you get when you multiply four times four. But that
smarty-pants-I-know-everything-girl Andrea Young beat me to it and got called on first.
crayons翻译唉，戴西⼩真是笨！四乘以四连我都晓得是多少。可是那位⾃以为是的⼥⽣安德烈亚领先被叫到了。
“If you put four crayons in a row,” she told Miss Daisy as she put a bunch of crayons on the top of her desk, “and you make four rows of four crayons, you’ll have sixteen crayons.
See?” Then she counted the crayons from one to sixteen.
“假如你把四⽀蜡笔摆成⼀排，”她⼀边把蜡笔放在课桌上，⼀边通知戴西教师，“⼀排⼀排摆上四排，你就有了⼗六⽀蜡笔。看到了吗？”她数蜡笔，从⼀数到⼗六。
Miss Daisy looked a t the crayons on Andrea’s desk. She had
a puzzled look on her face.
戴西⼩看安德烈亚课桌上的蜡笔。她⼀脸没弄懂的神⽓。
“I’m not sure I understand,” she said. “Can somebody else explain it to me”
“我还是不⼤懂，”她说，“还有谁能给我讲讲吗？”
Michael Robinson, this kid wearing a red T-shirt with a dirt bike on it, explained four times four again, using pencils.
He had sixteen pencils on his desk, in four rows of four pencils. Miss Daisy still had a look on her face like she didn’t under-stand.
迈克尔，⼀个穿⽩⾊T恤，T恤上有辆灰不溜秋⾃⾏车的男⽣，这⼀回⽤铅笔来讲。他在他的课桌上摆上⼗六⽀铅笔，四⽀⼀排，共四排。戴西⼩脸上还是那副没弄懂的神⽓。
“What would happen if you subtracted half of the pencils”
she asked.
“要是减去⼀半⼜会怎样呢？”
Michael took away two of the rows of pencils and put them in his pencil box.
迈克尔于是拿掉两排铅笔，放回铅笔盒⾥。
“Then you would have eight pencils!”we all said.
“那就剩下⼋⽀铅笔了！”我们说。
Andrea Young added, “Half of sixteen is eight.”
安德烈亚加上⼀句：“⼗六的半数就是⼋。”
Miss Daisy wrinkled up her forehead until it was almost like an accordion. She still didn’t get it!
戴西⼩眉头皱得像⼿风琴。她还是不明⽩！
She started counting the pencils on Michael’s de sk out loud and using her fingers. She got it all wrong. We gathered around Michael’s desk and tried to explain to Miss Daisy how to add, sub-tract, multiply, and divide numbers using the pencils.
她开始⼤声说，⽤⼿指数迈克尔课桌上的铅笔。她全数错了。咱们围到迈克尔的课桌四周，想给戴西⼩解释，该怎么⽤铅笔做加减乘除。
Nothing worked. Miss Daisy had to be the dumbest teacher in the history of the world! No matter how many times we
tried to explain, she kept shaking her head.
没有⽤。戴西⼩是有史以来最笨的教师！不论咱们讲了多少次，她不断在摇她的头。
“I’m sorry,” she said. “It will take me a while to understand arithmetic. Maybe you can explain it to me more tomorrow. For now we have to clean off our desks because Principal Klutz is going to come in and talk to us.”
“很对不起，”她说，“弄懂算术我得花点⼯夫。改天再解释吧。
现在⼤家把课桌上的东西放好，因为克卢茨校长这就要来跟咱们讲话了。”
I know all about principals. My friend Billy from around the corner, who was in second grade last year, told me that the principal is like the king of the school. He runs everything.?校长的事我全晓得。我有⼀个朋友住在附近，叫做⽐利，他去年读⼆年级，是他告诉我说，校长就像学校的国王。他管所有的事。
Billy says that if you break the rules, you have to go to the principal’s office, which is in a dungeon down in the basement. Kids in the dungeon get locked up and are forced
to listen to their parents’ old CDs for hours. It must be horrible.
⽐利说，万⼀犯了校规，就要上校长室去，那是个地牢。孩⼦们给关在这地牢⾥，被逼着听许多个钟头他们⽗母的⽼式唱⽚。肯定可怕极了。
Miss Daisy told us to be on our best behavior so Principal Klutz would see how mature we were. Finally he walked into our room.
戴西⼩叫我们要⼗分规矩，让克卢茨校长看到我们有多听话。然后他⾛进了我们的教室。
“Welcome to the second grade,” he said cheerfully. “I’m sure we are all going to have a wonderful year together.”“欢送⼤家来上⼆年级！”他兴致勃勃地说，“我相信我们肯定会好好过上⼀年。”
Principal Klutz said a lot of stuff about the rules of the school. We’re not allowed to run in the halls, and we’re not allowed to chew gum. Stuff like that.
克卢茨校长讲了⼀⼤堆校规：我们在学校⾥不许奔跑，我们不能够吃⼝⾹糖，诸如此类。
But I wasn’t listening very closely because I kept staring at his head. He had no hair at all! I mean none! His head looked like a giant egg.
可我没好好听，因为我只管盯住他的头看。他头上⼀根头发也没有！
是个秃顶！他的头看着像个⼤鸡蛋。
When Principal Klutz was all done telling us the rules of the school, he asked if anybody had any questions about what he had said.
克卢茨校长讲完校规当前，他问⼤家有什么问题没有。
“Did all your hair fall out of your head,” I asked, “or did you cut it off” Everybody laughed, even though I didn’t say anything funny. Miss Daisy looked at me with a mean face.?“你的头发是从你的头上掉的，还是你剃掉的呢？”我问道。⼤家哈哈⼤笑，尽管我说的话没什么好笑的。戴西⼩⽤不难看的神⾊看我。
“Actually, it was both,” Principal Klutz replied with a chuckle. “Almost all of my hair fell out on its own, so I decided to shave the rest of it off.”
“说真的，两者都有。”克卢茨校长咯咯笑着答复，“我的头发⼤部分都掉了，于是我决议⼊⼿把剩下的⼲脆剃掉。”
“That’s the saddest story I ever heard!” said this girl named Emily, and she burst into tears.
“这是我听到过的最悲伤的故事了。”⼀个叫埃⽶莉的⼥⽣说，哇哇哭起来。
“Don’t feel bad,” Principal Klutz said. “It could have been a lo t worse.”
“不要伤⼼。”克卢茨校长说，“原本还会更坏呢。”
“How” sniffled Emily.
“怎样啦？”埃⽶莉啜泣着问。
“Well, at least my brain didn’t fall out of my head!”“额。⾄少我的脑⼦没从头上掉上去！”
We all laughed, even Emily. Principal Klutz was a pretty funny guy, for a principal.
我们⼤家哈哈⼤笑，连埃⽶莉也笑了。克卢茨校长尽管是⼀位校长，却也是⼀位很搞笑的家伙。
“Any other questions”
“还有别的问题吗？”
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